Man Hating


The other day I got called a man hater. It was suggested that just the simple fact of having a blog that lead this person to believe I was a man hater; they then read my blog and confirmed the assumption. I was a bit surprised by this, which isn’t to say I haven’t been called a man hater before- I just didn’t know that was the vibe my writing and personality were giving off so strongly.

Just to be clear, I am not a man hater. I am certainly a Mark Whalberg and broccoli hater, but not men. I often prefer male company because it is so often not filled with competition and cattiness. Some of my best friends are males. My second year of college was spent living with 2 men that I adore like family. I have a really cool brother. I like my dad.

Have most of the men I’ve dated disappointed me? Yeah, but I don’t hate them. As a product of divorced parents I’d like to argue that I’ve managed to maintain a respect for men and relationships without shakiness.

I think that perhaps this idea comes from the fact that I don’t idealize men. I’m only 3 years apart from my brother, so he was basically around my entire life. I know that boys are gross, dirty, and selfish, but I also know that they are sensitive, awkward, and fragile. My brother also knows that girls are not perfect pretty princesses that never poop, but are in fact human beings that are also, gross, dirty, selfish, sensitive, awkward, and fragile. I think people that only have same-sex siblings get confused about these things.

That being said, I do believe that men have a tendency to a bit more self-centered, stupid, and difficult to understand than women.

Genetically speaking, women are prone to be more caring and compassionate because our bodies were designed to make and care for another human. Men have this small window for caring about things that aren’t their own penis, and you gotta grab it quick (the moment, not the penis). My ex (who I don’t hate) came to support me at my first yoga class, but left immediately after because it was a Sunday and football was on. I got a window of sweetness, and I took it graciously.

I’ve actually come to find that girls my age and middle aged women are some of the most annoying people on planet earth. But men of all ages are just stupid. They’re so dumb. This doesn’t mean I hate them. I am getting tired of rolling my eyes all the time though.

I have the personal believe that if you consistently make your female counterpart feel special, she will be happy. I am still uncertain as to how to keep a man on an even level of happy aside from sexual pleasure. And even that isn’t a guarantee.

I’ve never read “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, but I think the main point is that men and women are different. That’s super. I love men. I love them more when they’re being nice to me, moving my furniture, and giving me presents.

So dear men of the world, thank you for helping me with my car, doing yard work, killing bugs, and giving me piggy-back rides. Thank you also for lying, disappearing, ignoring me during sports, snoring, and forgetting my birthday. You’re the best!

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